So, this is complicated. I know that if I give you advice here you'll find things much easier, but it's tricky for me to give advice because - genuinely - I simply do not care what happens. I won't be there, you will, so do something that works for you. But this doesn't work, so here are some thoughts I've had. Please feel free to ignore them if they don't work for you.
I would really like Albie to be involved in the planning, but I also really don't want him to think he has to make MAJOR DECISIONS. So, Steph and James have come up with a lovely idea about talking to him to pick a tree that could be planted in my name somewhere.
Ma used to say that the body was just a shell for the soul, and I think I tend to agree with that. I don't have any preference for what happens to my body. Donation to science, unattended cremation with a nice celebratoy ceremony somewhere lovely afterwards, burial, whatever you want. I think I’d like something eco-friendly, low-cost, out-doorsey.
I am an athiest, but I am an old-fashioned quiet and polite athiest I'm not a modern ranty atheist. I know people find comfort in their religion, and I'm happy if they want to say things that are a bit religious at my ceremony.
I was thinking small numbers of people - Steph, James, Albie, Timmy; Jo, Phil; Tom, Colleen; Milly, David, Bea, Harry; Becky, Andy; Rachel, James, Lottie, Josh. If there's a way of getting Steph's dad but not Steph's mum there that would be nice, but that's going to be VERY DIFFICULT. I know Albs is quite firm he doesn't want his grandmother there, and I support that.
There are people I worked with so here's a list: